Too many women = no women

So get this, my entire life I’ve been surrounded by women. In high school I had 27 girls in my class and only 3 guys… that was hell, then in college I had about 25 women in my class and again only 3 guys.  Now, I’m not complaining, but I realize now how that fucked me over, cause I developed some kind of “friend” syndrome towards them. Therefore, I’m really comfortable getting close to women, talking to them, getting under their skin, but for some strange reason, I get stuck in the friend zone. And that’s not only because they put me there, but also because that’s probably how I see myself.

As if I didn’t have enough of them as it is, I started talking to new women, forcing myself to go beyond the friend zone. So, there I am talking to about three women, that I wouldn’t mind dating.

Two of them are really young, so they piss the hell out of me with their “huge dilemmas about life”…the way they dramatize everything, the way they see all kind of life threatening problems in the smallest things… “uuu…nobody understands me, oh my God, I have a broken nail….kids are starving in Africa…” ….. son of a bitch!! Just shut the fuck up!! I don’t want to hear about it… I’m just trying to watch the movie…just…be quiet! Stop breathing! I’m so tired of it.

The third one is older, she’s nice, we talk a lot, but I’m in the friend zone. And I want the honey, but hate the bees that could come out of the hive.

It’s Saturday night, I had plans to see a movie with one of them…she calls 30 minutes ago and she cancels… no reason. Well fuck you then!! With your little dramas and your little crisis…so tonight I’ll just watch the K1 games and that’s all.

I’m pissed!!

later edit: I do have one girl I’m happy to be in the friend zone with. she kinda looks after me… but she’s not a woman…she’s just a really cool person that’s not a guy… (that’s how i see her)

Taxi counseling

I got this idea from a politician that hired his driver as a counselor…the politician is a prime minister, the driver…well he’s just a driver… of course the media jumped right at his throat … who the hell hires a driver to help you take decisions for an entire country.

On the other hand….the driver is the guy that drove him to work, home, to parties, maybe even to late visits around the city… so they must have some kind of chemistry.

I support this decision…and to prove it I will share a few advices I got from taxi drivers.

The city at night, low traffic, raining… I’m in a cab, we pass by some hookers. The cab driver (around 45) looks at me and says: “never get a hooker when it rains. They have a wet hair, and could wet your pants”.

The city at day, high traffic, sunny… I’m in a cab, stuck in traffic. Out of the blue, the cab driver looks at me and goes: “you know what you should do? You should walk more. I hate customers that use the cab for a mile or two. What the hell is wrong with you? Next time…walk!”

So… if you have ever been in a cab, and got an advice from the cab driver… share… let’s make it a cab driver counseling post… maybe you don’t have any use for that advice, but could come in handy to other people, or to an entire country…

Just my luck

We’ve been talking a lot lately, she says come by we’ll see a movie, right? If knew what would come next…I would have ran for my life. So I go by her house at 2 and we put on a movie. MILK. (FYI: if ever in the presence of a woman you are trying to nail, do not start off the night with a movie about gay men).

The movie ends aaand from here on the drama begins. We get to bed. She’s like…we have to sleep…u have to behave, I’m like..sure..aham…start teasing her..she’s teasing me…we get butt naked…we get hot…then…nothing happens. I mean nothing. She’s like…put on a condom… I’m like I wish!! But we have a problem…huge problem (notice how no erection goes for HUGE problem…ironic isn’t is?)..honest to god it never happened before… there’s nothing to hang the condom out from. That is right…I was dead. Completely.

WTF??!! This can NOT happen to me. I drove all this way.. I’ve been such a smart ass and now this?? This is not happening. Oh, but it was…she starts laughing I start freaking out. I’m 25..what is wrong with me…maybe I’m tired, maybe I’m not that interested…maybe ….my god! I’m freaking out. So we lay on the bed…she’s pretty ok..god knows what she’s thinking….but I’m just in shock.

I’m thinking…”what do I do? I have to save the night somehow…what do I say…I’m sorry? Sorry for what? It’s not like I don’t want this… this is the first time it’s happening? Like she gives a fuck about that… suddenly I realized that not getting a erection on a one night stand is like….going on a first date…with a hot woman…getting in the elevator…just the two of you and then you elegantly farthing…cause you had cabbage for lunch…what do I say? I have to say something…does it really matter? She will tell all her friends… mother of god if you can hear me I never asked you for a lot…but please give am erection.

Nothing… is there nobody in Heaven that works at night? Come on!! Nothing. Ok…it’s been..10 minutes now…kiss her again…maybe who knows….still nothing…ok…think hot stuff…chick on chick… gang bang…. polar bear eating a seal..WTF?!! would you forget about the polar bear, fucking Animal Planet!! Jesus Christ man…come on…focus….she’s hot…really she is…why is this happening?

I had sex two days ago with my ex…I was ok…man that polar bear sure is hungry…FUCK!! Leave the polar bear alone…I should say something…what?! …”hei…the good part is that you will probably never forget this night” what did I just say? Am I retarded? This not good… finally she says ”I’m going to bed”…I’m like… sure.ok….what can I do…it’s a team work…and I’m a coach…..there will be a locker-room talk after this. but for now….this is it… one game lost…. Shit! She fell asleep….good. I’m tired…I’ll go to sleep…oh look…the polar bear has blood all over his face…DAMN POLAR BEAR ruined my night!!

me

So here I am, a 25 year old sick to the bone, old ass rabbit, sharing experiences as they come along. Because the only way I can deal with frustration is making stupid self-esteem jokes, I will start this guerrilla fight against myself. Enjoy the ride, I won’t spare any details.
Facts about me: I just got out of a five year relationship because I felt like I had enough…maybe latter I will tell you about it a bit, but for now I don’t want to start with the past. So, as a SickRabbit, out of a relationship that long, naturally I have this crushing urge of…meeting people. When I say meet I mean fuck, and when I say people I mean women. This drive got so stupid that I found myself hitting on old friends, that know me so well, that I wouldn’t in a million years have a chance on. Nevertheless, I am relentless in my efforts, that last night almost paid off. So I meet this girl, tried to go out, didn’t quite work out, but her friend seemed interested. I jumped at the opportunity. I mean…for a SickRabbit, what can be sweeter than getting it on with the friend of the girl he tried to get it on, right?